mathiasthom

So this is how the wheel must turn
this is a growing concern
lessons learned, oh how they burn
scales of justice, just never served

At this point in my life
take it and run
or turn around
and initiate some fun

Love is a failed experiment
day to day disclosures
a rare event
certainly not heaven sent

He came into my life
“you’ll do things my way
never have your say
it’s only experimental play”

No way, no way, no way...

This isn’t what I signed up for
not what I’ve been dreaming of
all my life, which could end tonight
no, I’ve changed my mind again...

mathiasthom
written 9/5/18

Snowing outside
no heat inside
just watching the ice build up
through the cracks in the door

While across the floor
promises forgotten
vacuum the rugs
head cold and leaden

Maybe a hot shower
is the first order of business
or crawl back beneath
electrified sheets

Could really sleep for weeks
but it's laundry day again
and dishes remain unattended
in the overflowing sink

No whiskey or vodka
staring naked in the mirror again
hoping for a solitary friend
to rise to the occassion

Yet without persuation
and a certain amount of frustration
it's back to the couch
buried beneath a favorite afghan

mathiasthom
written 1/16/18

You'll eventually find love
but you only get one Great Love,
once in a lifetime.

Maybe he's in prison
with frighteningly blue eyes
that rip apart your very being

A spur of the moment,
spiritual awakening
eyes wide open,body shaking

Nothing was meant to last
but to just happen,
as if the world made any sense

Bittersweet memories
lost inside your head,
like some 19th century prison

Writing to the walls
and how nature calls,
while everything falls

mathiasthom
written 10/18/17

The singles life
is nothing but a game
inhabited by creatures
endowed with no shame

Where one can be turned around
without a need to explain
adopting a clone look
so everyone feels the same

Not me.
I will always say no
the freedom to simply just be
is the only mantra I know

No complacent smiles
nor idle hands for show
never a need for silly trials
rejecting ideals that must go

Never to be herded like cattle
going this way or that
no cages to be rattled,
being alone to simply forget

mathiasthom
written 9/29/17

Don't feel good
still feeling ill
and this working environment
has lost its appeal

Shameless battering
of everything held dear
nothing less flattering
than conniving so-called peers

Condescending attitudes
an endless array of platitudes
whether to be aggravated or amused
somewhat frank, or downright rude

Need to get away
somehow, someway
maybe escape to a rooftop
wishing the madness below would stop

mathiasthom
written 8/27/17

Married,
yeah, not the one for me
harried,
as far as the eyes can see

But that's not me
that's not me
looking for forever
with my heart on this sleeve

Sharing pictures when you're all alone
girl friend's watching Netflix
in the other room
while you're posting a bone

Yet I am the enemy
wearing my heart on these sleeves
trying to honestly believe
in pure honesty

Forget it
bound to never happen
she'll find out
and I'll be the one left without

But that's not me
no, that's not me
there is no forever
which I'm forced to believe

mathiasthom
written 8/6/17

Looking through the ads
at all the smiling faces
with the pasted on expressions
that tell me to run

Is there any reason
that a man of 50
still is partner-less
not exactly under the gun

That look that was mistaken
as a heart breaking
was a cynical clue,
not exactly from out of the blue

Still hoping one day to find
someone likewise, in kind
not in any sort of bind
if he's even Out There...

mathiasthom
written 7/19/17

I am invisible
eyes can see right through me
up against the wall
only bricks and mortar

Meetings arranged
attracting the wrong types
a feminine persuasion
another dose of humiliation

I am a transparent force,
screaming the impossible
ruined another voice
anything's quite plausible

Sold in these ways
lost at sea
the ending is always the same
churning deep inside of me

mathiasthom
written 7/1/17

Stranger photographs her in concealing weeds
dressed in her silky finery
except the material is sheer
the horror quite clear

No faces involved here
anonymously ruining her
before the real world bleeds through
sirens sounding off in her head

How does it feel to be presumed dead?
emotionally drained, no need to explain
figureheads in bluish black
prodding at the scarring on her back

Nightly news, to enlighten or confuse
the choices presented to you
alternate realities shining through,
what mire has the world gotten into?

mathiasthom
written 6/15/17

I was attacked by a troll today,
some liberal snowflake
following the doctrines
of a mad, left wing professor

Is it wrong to express an opinion?
No, it's not wrong
don't believe everything you read
a clear voice, with a different point of view

Really don't care for
this generation of youth
full of grandiose entitlement
with no backbone to speak of

So easy to sway, to rile up false sentiments
with Socialist viewpoints going nowhere
a sort of social warrior
typing frantically, in some dank basement

of their parents' home
can't make it on their own
discordant, disconnected drones
completely, utterly alone

Not the least bit impressed
with bad haircuts
and sweat pant rags
tailored to fit spindly legs

Cloven feet and snake tongues
always looking out for number one
sincerely going nowhere fast
a lost generation, maybe the last?

Mathiasthom
written 6/11/17